Identifying your sexuality!

  In Pomosexuals, Carrol Queen talks of a man who struggles with being able to identify his sexuality. I say identify, because in her previous chapter Queen talks of loaded words, and the narrator of the essay labels his self as being a gay man: Gay being the loaded word, because he doesn't want to conform himself to the ways of other gay men, nor does he want to be like other straight men.

The narrator is torn between his sexuality and his desires for....well..... being desired!

  His first sexual encounter is with a man so he decides, for the sake of having a label, that he is gay. And for the next decade he lives as though he is interested in only men, never allowing himself to experience what it's like to be with a women. He also makes a claim about gay people complaining that homosexuality is not a choice and instead  an "orientation", further insinuating that being gay is something undesirable. It's clear that this individual, I'm sure along with many others, has issues coming to terms ,with who it is ok to be! This is one of the main problems affecting many individuals today and many of the issues stem from our distorted viewpoints due to mass media and white patriarchal christian domination! Mass media is controlled mainly by white christian males. Therefore they can portray their beliefs of race, class, gender, and sexuality onto society as the way they, themselves practice. Any other beliefs deriving from a tangent pushes the envelope and thus disrupts our conformed society. Media and entertainment allows young adults to feel the fear of being gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual. It shows society how "most of the people" at least portrayed in movies, are not gay, therefore gay being not-normal and thus striking fear of young people to come out and express who they truly are.
  The narrator in Queens book goes on to later explore his first female sexual encounter with a black, female prostitute. His earlier attempts at flirting with women left him feeling hopeless. He later finds that he isn't lost from not exploring his sexuality with females but finds that he yearns for something more than just a physical relationship. He wants to connect, and those connections were best met or at least understood by other men, or at least the ones who seemed like they wanted him. The feminist in him needed to make the connection. The animal in him needed to make those connections physical and the human in him just needed to for it all to come together and mean something. 

  Being able to identify oneself is important. Most importantly is being able to freely express oneself! Not having to conform to others comfort levels and being able to explore both sides or create a new path helps liberate our selfs!